Troubled Times
by robertwnielsen
Summary: Hawke and Cait experience a lull in their sex life...and Hawke begins to regress to old habits, which only makes the problem worse, putting even more strain on their marriage.
1. Chapter 1

_Troubled Times_

A/N 1: As usual, I don't own the characters – either Bellisario or Universal does, but since _they _don't take the characters out to play anymore, I figure _I _might as well...as long as I put them back where I found them when I'm finished with them.

A/N 2: This story is a little different from most of my previous works, and the inspiration for it actually came from a personal experience. Hope somebody enjoys it – robertwnielsen

Summary – Hawke and Cait experience a lull in their sex life...and Hawke begins to regress to old habits, which only makes the problem worse, putting even more strain on their marriage.

"No, Hawke," Caitlin Hawke said to her husband as they got ready for bed. She could tell what he was thinking, what he wanted, by the look in his eyes—she just didn't feel like giving it to him. Hawke, reading the expression in his wife's eyes, an expression he'd become all too familiar with over the past three weeks; merely turned to face the wall and muttered, "'Night," then quickly turned the lights out.

_What is her problem? _Stringfellow Hawke asked himself, as he tried to rein his frustration in, along with his hormones. She had _never, _in the nine years that they had been married, turned him down flat like that, especially since they had gone nearly three weeks without being intimate with each other. _At least, she hadn't done it until recently, _Hawke said to himself sadly. _But tonight is...what? The fourth time this week alone she's turned me away. And, I've got to admit, that hurts, _he said to himself as he tried to sleep. _I mean, last week was her...period...so I can understand that, fine. But now? It seems like there's been a different excuse every night. About the only excuse I haven't heard is the old 'Not tonight, String—I've got a headache.' But, if that's the way she wants it, I guess...two can play at that game. But,_ a voice that sounded a lot like Dominic's rang in Hawke's head, _you promised. Remember?_

Hawke did recall making a promise to both Caitlin and Dom that he wouldn't regress into old habits now that he and Cait were married, and over the past nine years, he'd worked hard, even after Dominic's death, to ensure that didn't happen...but her series of outright rejections hurt him more than he'd ever been hurt in his life...and he figured he was due some payback, after a cold dip in the lake in the morning, followed by a cold shower.

_What have I done? _Caitlin Hawke said to herself as she watched her husband turn away from her and face the wall. _Way to go, Caity girl...you really blew it this time. _She and Hawke had been having their problems lately, and Caitlin knew that what she had just done—and, what she'd done numerous times in the past three weeks—would do _nothing _to change that. _I just...I just hope he can forgive me...someday, _she said to herself, as a tear ran down her cheek. She knew that sleep would not come easily tonight. _But that's nothin' new,_ she said to herself, _considering how poorly I've been sleeping these past three weeks._

When Hawke rose the next morning, he stopped before he went down to the lake and gazed at his wife's face. He didn't have to look hard to find the evidence that she'd spent the majority of the night crying. _It's a good thing Dom's not here, _Hawke said to himself as he headed downstairs and out to the lake for a quick swim, _'cause he'd take one look at Cait and chew me up one side and down the other, and not care if she was mostly to blame._

Caitlin reached across the bed as she turned, hoping to find her husband still next to her; and was surprised when her hand reached nothing but empty air. _Where did he go? _Caitlin asked herself as she opened her eyes and discovered Hawke's side of the bed was empty. _A bit early for fishing. _She got up, slipped on her robe, and went downstairs to look for her husband.

She didn't have to wonder where he was for long. Hawke came through the front door and barely glanced in Caitlin's direction before he headed upstairs for a shower.

_You've got nobody to blame for my attitude this morning but yourself, Caitlin, _Hawke said to himself as the cold shower water ran over his body. _And you know it._ And, he added to himself, he'd be _damned_ if he was going to let her off the hook easily. _I know I haven't been blameless in the problems we're having,_ Hawke said to himself as he finished with his shower and dried off, then got dressed; _but after last night..._The thought died in his mind as he walked downstairs and found Caitlin fixing breakfast, even though by the rule of the house he should have, since he was the first one up.

Breakfast was a strained affair between them, with no words spoken. Even their girls, Sally Anne and Saoirse Marie Hawke, could tell something was not right with their parents, but neither one wanted to say anything. Caitlin could tell her husband was hurting, and she knew from experience that when he felt that way, he tended to withdraw into himself. _He's just never done it with _**me**_ before, _she said to herself as they finished eating, _and...I've got to admit...that scares me._ Finally, she realized that she would have to make the first move. Gently, she laid her hand on Hawke's arm and whispered, "String? I'm...I'm sorry."

Stringfellow heard his wife's whispered apology, but chose to ignore it, instead standing up quickly and heading outside to fish, barely acknowledging his children. He knew she meant what she had said...he just wasn't ready to accept her apology yet. _Besides, Caitlin...you know what I always say—_**actions **_speak louder than _**words. **He hoped a few more hours' solitude out on the lake would improve his mood, but he wasn't counting on it.

Caitlin realized that she needed to get to work on the breakfast dishes, even though by rights she should have left them for String, considering she had made breakfast even though he was the first one up. _I know what he's like when he gets like this, _she said to herself as she washed the plates and cups, then dried them and put them away; _and if I don't do this...it's not gonna get done. Besides,_ she said to herself, fighting back a wave of tears, _with our marriage hangin' in the balance, the last thing I wanna do is argue the distribution of chores with String. _Once she was finished with the morning chore, she quickly went upstairs, put on a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans, and decided to take a walk. _Maybe the exercise will do me some good,_ Caitlin said to herself as she headed off in the direction of her favorite clearing.

A few hours later, Hawke entered the cabin after completing his morning fishing, and found the living area empty, except for Tet. He quickly iced down the fish, then went upstairs, thinking maybe Caitlin was up in the sleeping loft. _She does that sometimes, when she gets upset, _he said to himself, but realized she was not upstairs. _Where did she go? _He asked himself as he walked back out the front door of the cabin, noticing Tet taking off shortly afterward. Hawke hesitated, then decided to follow Tet and see where he went.

Caitlin sat, alone until Tet suddenly showed up, in the middle of a clearing that she liked to come to when she needed to think about things. _And right now, I've got a lot to think about,_ she said to herself as she absently toyed with her wedding ring. _What must Hawke think of me right now, after what I did last night...and what I've done so many times these past three weeks? I've...I've never hurt him like that...I don't think anybody has. He must hate me, _she concluded, then added, _and I can't say I blame him...'cause I'm not too crazy about myself right now, either. How could I do that to him? To **US?**_ The tears she'd been holding back finally bubbled over, and she began to cry.

Stringfellow, meanwhile, had decided to go for a walk, until he heard Caitlin crying nearby. For a moment, his heart broke into a million pieces, knowing he was the cause of her anguish, then just as quickly, he remembered; _I wouldn't have acted that way if she hadn't done what she did. _Quietly, he turned on his heel and stalked away, surprised when Tet joined him a few minutes later.

"Yeah," he mumbled to himself as much as anything when he saw the dog's inquisitive gaze. _For a good-for-nothing old blue tick hound, as Dom used to call him, Tet sure knows me, _Hawke said to himself as he stalked back to the cabin. He knew he couldn't avoid Caitlin forever, especially here, but at the same time, he was not in any hurry to leave. _At least, not yet, _he said to himself as he approached the cabin.

"String?" Caitlin whispered when she saw Tet get up. She knew there were only a few people Tet usually got up for—their children, Le or Saint John when they visited, String, Dom, and herself. But when she turned in the direction she saw Tet heading, she found nothing, which only made her cry harder.

_What am I going to do? _Caitlin cried to herself, debating whether or not to follow Tet, knowing he would lead her back to her husband. She knew, after nearly ten years of being married to him, that Hawke was her entire world; and that she couldn't survive without him. _But if he's forgotten that, there's no telling what he'll do, _she cried to herself. _If he doesn't believe in how I feel anymore...then I've gotta make him understand that—that I love him more than anything in this world—all over again. And, I don't know if I can go through that again._ She remembered the two years before they had finally gotten together, when Hawke's ignorance of her feelings had nearly driven her out of his life permanently, along with driving her almost completely nuts. Now, she felt as if her actions recently, including her decision last night, had begun to drive him back to his self-imposed exile. _It's already started,_ she said to herself sadly, _especially if that was Hawke that made Tet get up, like I think it was. Well. I guess I know what I have to do, _she said to herself; _the only question is how to do it._

_I guess...I guess she just doesn't want me anymore, _String said to himself sadly as he carried his cello out to his favorite spot and began to play—a mournful Prokofiev piece that perfectly matched his mood. Even seeing the eagle fly past and pluck a fish out of the lake did little to improve Hawke's mood, which actually seemed to worsen with every note he played. He felt the tears well up in his eyes, and didn't fight them, instead allowing them to roll down his face as he continued to play. _Fortunately, _Hawke said to himself, _Le's back with Saint John now...otherwise I'd have to explain this to him...and I'm not sure I understand it myself. And...how are we gonna explain this to the kids? _He knew that both he and Caitlin were equally at fault in the deterioration of their marriage, he just didn't know how to fix it. _Or, even if it _**can **_be fixed, _Hawke lamented to himself. _It may already be too late._ That thought caused Hawke to literally freeze. _No. It...it can't be too late. Not after everything we've been through together. If I've learned anything these last nine years, it's...it's that Caitlin and I belong together. There's got to be something I can do to fix this, _Hawke said to himself as a plan began to form in his mind, _and...I think I know just what to do._ Quickly, he went back into the cabin and made a quick call on the CB radio.

Caitlin had no idea how long she'd sat there crying, but by the time she felt like she'd cried her final tear, she looked at her wrist watch and found it was nearly six o'clock in the evening. _Have I really sat here that long? _She wondered to herself as she dusted her jeans off and prepared to head back to the cabin. _I guess...I guess I'll have to face him at some point, _she said to herself sadly as she walked back, _and be ready for whatever happens._

By the time he saw her coming back, Stringfellow had made a decision—no matter how much it hurt him, no matter how much it hurt _them, _he wouldn't resist or fight any decision Caitlin might have made while she had been gone. Fortunately, Saint John had made an emergency supply run, and String was able to have steaks grilling. He'd also made arrangements with Saint John to take their kids tomorrow, so that he and Caitlin could have some time alone, to try to work out their problems. _It's the least I could do...For all I know, this could be our last night together, _String said to himself, _whatever together means anymore. _For his part, Saint John had been all too happy to take the girls. "I'll take them and Le to the zoo...maybe get some ice cream...lots of fun stuff," he had said. "You two need this time. She still loves you, String. Don't doubt that, all right?"

"I'll try, Sinj," Hawke had said, but he wondered whether he could believe that.

"Hawke." Caitlin said emotionlessly as she finished her walk. He could see the tear streaks down her face, and felt a pang of regret in his heart, knowing that he'd put them there. He wondered if Caitlin saw the tear marks down his own face, and what she thought about them.

"Cait." He replied as he stood up to go inside and put his cello away, squashing the part of him that screamed at him to take his wife in his arms and forgive her for the events of the previous evening. _That wouldn't accomplish anything, _he said to himself sadly.

Caitlin's eyes were immediately drawn to the tear marks that ran down her husband's face, and her heart broke into a million pieces, knowing that she'd put them there. _How could I have done this to him? To _**US?** She asked herself again, knowing that she had no reason to blame him for what seemed to have gone so terribly wrong. _Even though he probably blames himself, _she said to herself as they ate dinner, again in silence, barely even looking at each other. Caitlin didn't even notice that Hawke had grilled steaks for dinner, something he only did when they were fighting, and usually if he was at fault.

_How much longer are you going to do this, String? _Caitlin asked herself as she got up from the table. _I can't take your silence much longer. _Finally, she stopped him before he went outside and said, "String. Please, talk to me."

"What's there to say, Cait?" String saw how his words had affected his wife, and his heart broke yet again. "I just have to deal with the fact that..."

"Deal with the fact that...what, Hawke?" She noticed that he turned his back on her as he said it, and almost instinctively knew what he was thinking. "That...it's over?"

Startled that Caitlin would put it that way, Hawke turned back to her and demanded, "Is that it? Is that what you think?"

"I don't...I don't know, Hawke," she stammered, relieved that at least her question had generated some response in her husband. "All I know is...things are a mess right now...and it's my fault." She admitted, knowing that was only part of the truth. _It's not _**all **_my fault, _Caitlin said to herself sadly, _but if saying it makes String feel better, then that's what I have to do_.

"No, Cait...it's not all your fault," Hawke said as he put his hands on her shoulders, which caused Caitlin to involuntarily jump at the contact, the first real physical contact she'd allowed from him in nearly three weeks. "I know I haven't been the easiest person in the world to get along with...but at least...at least I never turned you down the way you did to me last night...and the way you've done a few other times recently," Stringfellow sighed, knowing how much that statement would hurt his wife, yet knowing it was the truth. Just then, he heard their daughters, Sally Anne and Saoirse Marie Hawke, begin to cry, and Caitlin hurried to their room to see what was the matter with her children. _As if I don't have enough problems already, _she said to herself when she noticed String hadn't followed her.

"Mommy, what's wrong with Daddy?" Saoirse demanded.

"Why do you think something's wrong with Daddy?" Caitlin queried their daughter.

"Mommy...we're six...we're not stupid. We watched you at breakfast, then at dinner, and you've been outside most of the day. So...what's wrong with Daddy?" Saoirse repeated her demand.

"It's a grown-up thing, sweetheart," Caitlin answered, trying to soothe her six-year-old daughters. They were almost as good at reading her emotions as String was, and Caitlin knew that hiding the fact that she and their daddy weren't getting along would not go over well with their children.

"Does Daddy not like you again, Mommy?" Sally Anne asked, even as String stopped just outside the doorway, and Saoirse saw him, but said nothing.

"I don't know, Sally Anne," Caitlin answered with tears streaming down her face again. "I really don't know."

"Why is Daddy being so dumb again?" Sally Anne demanded. "Doesn't Daddy love you anymore?" At that, Stringfellow knew he had to do something, he just didn't know what.

"Well, Sally Anne...Daddy's a man...and you know men can be really dumb sometimes, especially about people," Caitlin said with a chuckle, hoping that her attempt at humor would distract her children.

"He shouldn't be dumb about you anymore, Mommy," Sally Anne insisted, her blue eyes darkening. "Maybe Daddy just...just doesn't care about us anymore. I—I'm scared, Mommy."

"Me too, Sally Anne," Caitlin admitted, hugging her close, as Saoirse Marie cried next to them. "Me, too."

_That does it,_ Stringfellow said to himself as he marched into the girls' bedroom and confronted their children. "Now, you listen to me, Sally Anne...and you too, Saoirse Marie. I still care about both of you...and about Mommy. It's like she said, Sally Anne...it's a grown-up thing. We'll explain it to you...someday," he continued, adding to himself, _someday, when you're 30...or maybe, 40. Heck, it might take us that long to figure it out._

"Hawke. I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd followed me," Caitlin said, a small smile tugging at her lips as she gazed up at her husband.

"I hadn't planned on it...but now, I'm glad I did," String replied with a small smile of his own, one that was not lost on either of his children. "Sally Anne...Saoirse Marie, you listen to me for a minute. Whatever problems your Mommy and I are having, it doesn't mean that we don't love you. No matter what happens with Mommy and me, we will both always love you. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Daddy," both girls replied in unison.

"Good." Hawke couldn't help but notice a strange look in Caitlin's eyes when he was talking to their children...a look he hadn't seen for some time. Finally, he said, "Now, you two get to bed, and we'll talk about this in the morning, all right?"

"G'night, Daddy!" Both girls squealed, at least temporarily placated. "G'night, Mommy!"

"Good night, both of you," Caitlin said sadly, as she kissed her children good night and walked out of their bedroom, quickly catching up with Hawke.

"Thanks, String," she mumbled, and he was surprised at her use of his first name.

"Any time, Caitlin," he replied. "Any particular reason you were looking at me that way?"

"What way, Hawke?" She answered him, knowing full well the way she'd looked at him, and the response she'd hoped she'd get from him.

"Come on, Cait, don't play games with me...you know better than that," Hawke said, and his tone of voice turned decidedly colder. Just as quickly, his voice warmed again, and he said, "You were looking at me like...like you used to. All I missed seeing was that impish grin of yours."

"Funny you should say that, Hawke...'cause I haven't seen that boyish grin of yours for a while, either," Caitlin replied, gazing into her husband's eyes for what seemed to her to be the first time in a long time. "Have we...have we gotten so caught up with everything that we've forgotten about us?"

"You might just be on to something there, Cait," Hawke replied with a smile. "I know I haven't been the most attentive husband in the world...and I guess I understand why that might have turned you off towards me. That's what I meant at dinner when I said 'I just have to face the fact that...' you didn't let me finish. I was going to say, 'I just have to face the fact that...you don't want me, anymore.'"

"_**What?" **_Caitlin demanded, thankful that by now they were in the sleeping loft, where their children could not hear them, as she felt a sudden, and ever-growing need to smack her husband across the side of his head. _**"Why would you think I don't want you anymore, Hawke?"**_

"It seems obvious, don't you think? You don't initiate anything romantic anymore, and when I try, like happened last night, you turn me away. What the hell am I supposed to think?" Hawke demanded, his eyes turning that icy cold shade of blue that Caitlin had learned long ago she hated. She also knew that what her husband had said was true—she _had _been less romantic than she used to be, and had been turning her husband away more frequently when he tried to be romantic with her.

"I know, Hawke...and all I can do is apologize again," Caitlin said, knowing her words would do little to soothe her husband's anger. "I know my words won't mean much, but know this, Stringfellow Hawke—I love you, with everything I have...everything I am. With all my heart, mind, body, and soul. That hasn't changed in all the time I've known you...and, it never will," she said with conviction, hoping her eyes would communicate what her voice could not.

"I appreciate what you've said, Cait...and I feel the same way about you," Hawke said with a sigh, as if he were admitting defeat. Caitlin watched his face for any sign that he believed her statements, that he would accept her meager words for the apology they were intended as, and that they could go on, as they undressed for bed. "But..."

Caitlin knew what he was going to say before he could even utter the words. "You don't even need to say it—'cause I know, Hawke. 'Actions speak louder than words.' Right?"

"Right," Hawke said, as he turned to face the wall again. "'Night."

"'Night, Hawke," Caitlin said, then added in a whisper, "I love you."

Caitlin found herself staring at her husband's back, and she knew that her last statement had gone unheard, or at least unacknowledged, by him. Sighing, she closed her eyes and tried to sleep, knowing she needed to sleep some after the previous few nights, but also knowing that sleep would once again be difficult. _Then again, _she said to herself as she began running her fingers across her husband's body, _he's the one who always says actions speak louder than words...well...I'll just make him put his money where his big mouth is! Let's see what he thinks of these actions, _she grinned to herself, knowing that if this worked, they'd both sleep a lot easier.

_What the heck? _Stringfellow Hawke was jolted out of the beginnings of sleep when he felt something running across his back...then his chest...and further south. Slowly, he turned to his wife, who continued her ministrations without a word...until Hawke finally understood, reacted, and to Caitlin's great relief, responded in kind.

"Cait?"

"Hmm?"

"_What_ brought that on?" Hawke asked, gazing into the blue-green eyes of his wife.

"Isn't it obvious, you _lunkhead?" _Caitlin demanded, noting with great relief that her husband's eyes had returned to their familiar icy blue warmth. "You're the one who always says 'actions speak louder than words', aren't you, Hawke?" Caitlin demanded, and punctuated it by further querying, "Well?"

The blood that should have been supplying Hawke's brain hadn't quite returned there yet, so all he could manage was, "Huh?"

Caitlin looked her husband square in the eyes, and the impish grin she wore spoke volumes. "Those actions...they loud enough for you?"

String responded with the boyish grin he reserved for his wife, as he felt the blood finally reach his brain. "Oh, yeah, Cait...they were definitely loud enough," he replied, laughing, even as he pulled their bodies close together again.

"You know I love you, right, Hawke?"

"Yeah, Cait...I know. I just wish I didn't get so..._obsessed_ about things...you know?" Hawke sighed as he considered his next words. "I'm...I'm sorry, Cait."

"Sorry? What do you have to be sorry about?"

"For ever doubting the way you feel about me...and, the way I feel about you," Hawke replied. "I promise you, Caitlin Hawke, I will never make that mistake again."

"Same goes for me, Stringfellow Hawke," Caitlin replied as she snuggled back into his chest. "We both need to do better. But just for the record, Hawke...I want you...forever, and always. Never forget that. And I forgive you, Hawke...for everything," she said with a contented sigh.

"I want you too, Cait...forever, and always. And I hope you never forget that, either. I forgive you, too, Caitlin...for everything," Stringfellow replied as he ran his fingers through her long red tresses, then gave her one final deep, loving kiss before he closed his eyes to sleep. It had been a difficult time, Hawke knew, and more than likely not the last one they would face as their marriage continued to grow. _But, we'll face them all, just like we face everything else...together. _Hawke pulled his wife's body tight against his own, content to stay like that as long as possible, or at least until their daughters came to wake them up the next morning, with questions about what had gone on after they had gone to sleep. Hawke decided right then, and knew he would discuss it with Caitlin later, that he would do everything possible to ensure that the events of the past three weeks would never happen again.


	2. Chapter 2

_Troubled Times, Chapter 2_

A/N 1: As usual, I don't own the characters – either Bellisario or Universal does, but since _they _don't take the characters out to play anymore, I figure _I _might as well...as long as I put them back where I found them when I'm finished with them.

A/N 2: I decided to write a second chapter to try and close some of the holes I left in the original. Hope it makes sense. – robertwnielsen

_Summary – _After the events in Chapter 1, have Cait and Hawke gotten back on track?

"String? What went so wrong between us?" Caitlin Hawke queried her husband as they finished their breakfast dishes together—something they hadn't done in a long time. String had started them, since Cait had made breakfast and done the dishes the previous day, when everything had come to a head between them, so the least he could do was take care of all the responsibilities that day; but Caitlin would hear none of it, and stepped in to help him—_and, String doesn't seem to mind,_ Cait said to herself happily. _And I'm always happiest when I'm doin' things with String...even things like the dish__es. Heck...it doesn't matter what we're doing...as long as String's beside me. That's all that matters. _They even exchanged a few friendly water splashes with each other, both grinning as they did. Caitlin couldn't help but think to herself, _Great what a good night's sleep...and some other activity...can do...I almost feel like myself again._

"I'm not sure, Cait," String replied, thankful that Saint John had taken their daughters for the day, so the two of them could have some time alone. He thought to himself, _Last night was the best I've slept in a long time...I almost feel like me again. _Their children had, as they had both expected, charged into their bedroom early that morning, demanding to know what happened after they went to sleep the previous night. Caitlin and Stringfellow had both spent a considerable amount of time explaining the situation to their daughters as best they could, and they both seemed to understand the situation, although, Caitlin had noticed later, just before Saint John and Le arrived, the girls just seemed happy that their mommy and daddy were talking again. "But it's like I said last night—I think you had a good idea when you said that we were getting so caught up in everything else, that we weren't taking time for us. I know I've been preoccupied with a lot of things lately—business at the hangar, Michael, Airwolf...I guess...I guess I just forgot to make time in there for you," he said sadly, knowing it was the truth, and knowing he needed to do better.

"Yeah, String," Caitlin replied with a smile, "I think I got the same way. Plus, we've both been preoccupied by the kids...and I think we're just so...used to each other that we forgot about each other's needs," she said with a grin. "So," she continued, "how do we fix that?"

"First of all, Cait, I like that you said, 'How do _we_ fix it,'" her husband replied as they finished drying and putting away the last dishes. "I'm glad we're both taking responsibility for what happened. And, I think you're right—we are pretty used to each other. Don't get me wrong," he continued, turning towards Cait and wrapping his arms around her, "I don't want us _not_ to be used to each other, but that doesn't mean...well, you know what I mean...I hope," Hawke said, embarrassed.

"Yeah...I think I do know what you mean, String," Caitlin said as she wrapped her arms around her husband and relaxed in his comforting embrace. "And, I think the other problem is—we've gotta face it, String...neither one of us is getting any younger...we just don't have the same drives that we did when we first got together...you know?"

"Speak for yourself, woman," Hawke grumbled, but Caitlin noticed the sparkle in his eyes when he said it. "You are still the sexiest, most beautiful woman I have ever met, my dear Caitlin...and you'll always be that way," he replied honestly.

"What, even when we're both old and wrinkled?" Caitlin teased her husband. "And for the record, you're just as biased now as you were ten years ago...and, I love you for it," Caitlin said as she glanced up at his face, noticing something she hadn't seen before. "Am I seeing things...or are there a few gray hairs in there?"

"_What?" _Stringfellow recoiled, shocked, then hurried to a mirror. "Damn," he said after a few minutes, "you're right. There are a few gray hairs in there. Must mean..."

"Hey...hey. You might be getting older, Hawke...but, if last night was any indication, you're also getting _better,_" Caitlin said with a grin, having followed him to look at his reflection in the mirror. "And...you are still the sexiest, most handsome man I have ever met, Stringfellow Hawke...and I'll always look at you that way," she replied with a sly grin, even as she noticed a gleam in her husband's eyes that she hadn't seen there in some time.

"Well, thank you very much, Mrs. Hawke," Stringfellow replied with a smile of his own. "And as to getting _better, _Cait...so are you," he added with a sly twist to his familiar boyish grin, as he noticed a sparkle coming into his wife's eyes...one that he'd missed lately.

"M mm...thank _you, _Mr. Hawke," Caitlin replied with a gleam in her own eyes. "When did Sinj say he'd be bringing the kids back?"

Hawke glanced at his wristwatch and smiled. "Not for a few hours yet, I don't think," he said, but something in his expression bothered Caitlin.

"Hawke...what is it?" Caitlin asked, worried about something she saw in her husband's eyes.

"Do you know you don't look a day older than the day we got married? How do you do that?" Hawke replied, and grinned as he said it.

"That, my dear husband, is _my _little secret," Caitlin replied honestly. "Even though I think I've found a few new lines on my face since then," she commented with a sigh.

"Where?" Stringfellow queried, and scrunched his face into that deer-in-the-headlights look that Caitlin had always found absolutely adorable. _And it still is, after all these years, _she said to herself as she took her husband's hand and traced along some of the new age lines she'd found.

"You know, I kinda feel guilty about some of that," Stringfellow said with a sad smile.

"Guilty? Why?" Caitlin demanded, but her expression betrayed her true feelings. _He thinks he's the reason those new lines are there_, Caitlin said to herself, even though she knew otherwise.

"Because...I think I put some of those lines there, with my attitude recently," Hawke admitted. He knew that he hadn't been the most attentive or supportive husband lately, and that, quite frankly, bothered him.

_I knew it. Boy, I hate being right,_ Caitlin grumbled to herself. Aloud, she said, "Well...maybe you did, String...but I've probably put a line or two into your face too," Caitlin smiled as she said it, hoping that String wasn't about to sink into another depressed rut, and possibly take her with him. "Now, don't you go getting all depressed on me, String," she continued. "'Cause it's a lot easier to be...interested, if you get my meaning, when you're happy," Caitlin admitted.

"Yeah...I think I do get your meaning, Cait," Hawke answered with a smile, one that was not lost on his wife. "But I think we need to talk about making sure that what happened over the past three weeks never happens again. So, how do we do that?"

"Well...I think we start by doing exactly what we're doing now," Caitlin said honestly. "Just making time to really listen to each other, like we did in the beginning, remember?"

"Yeah, I do remember," Hawke said with a smile. "We always seemed to make time to talk to each other, about anything. How did we lose track of that?"

"A lot of things, I think," Caitlin sighed as she led Hawke over to the couch, and they both sat down. "I think it started when business started to slide...I noticed you were getting more and more distant, and I didn't know how to reach you...and, that hurt," she admitted to her husband, allowing him to see the hurt there in her blue-green eyes.

"Yeah...and then we had a bunch of Airwolf missions...but, even Michael seemed to notice something was wrong...and I wouldn't even listen to him," Hawke agreed, remembering how the FIRM's Deputy Director had tried to talk to him about his marriage on several occasions over the past few weeks, but Hawke had refused to listen, even once going so far as to tell Michael that their marriage was none of his business.

"Michael's our friend, Hawke...even though he's also our boss...he cares about us, and doesn't want to see us come apart," Caitlin replied, and Stringfellow knew that his wife had a good point. "To a certain extent, yes, our marriage isn't any of his business...but wouldn't you want to try to help him if he was having problems in his life?" Caitlin asked.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Cait," Hawke agreed. "I like the fact that we're agreeing about things again," he told his wife with a smile.

"Me too, String," Caitlin sighed and snuggled into his side, resting her head on his shoulder. "Me, too." Caitlin sighed again and said, "You don't know how much I've missed this, String."

"Missed what, Cait?" Hawke asked, although he had a pretty good idea what his wife meant.

"This," she repeated, nudging him with her shoulder. "Just you and me...together. No kids, no Michael, no Airwolf...just..._us._ And no pressures about...well, you know," she added with an embarrassed grin.

"Yeah...and I've missed it, too," String admitted, even as he leaned closer to his wife. "I don't ever want to forget about us again," he said, and Caitlin noticed the conviction in his eyes.

"Me neither, Hawke," Caitlin murmured happily, relieved that she hadn't lost her husband; something that she had been very concerned about with the events of the past few weeks. "I was...scared, String," she admitted.

Stringfellow wasn't sure what Caitlin meant for a moment, then he realized what she was referring to. "Yeah," he agreed. "I was, too."

"_You_ were scared?" Caitlin couldn't believe what she'd just heard. "I don't believe it."

"Cait...you should know me well enough by now...The people we deal with on Airwolf missions don't scare me...because I know I'll never see them again. But the thought of losing you...losing our family...that terrified me, Caitlin...especially if I would have had to spend every day at the hangar, and then every night alone here, knowing..." Hawke couldn't finish his sentence, as his voice broke.

"Hey, String," Caitlin said and forced him to look her in the eyes. "You haven't lost me...and you're not gonna lose me. I signed on 'til death do us part,' remember? Sure, you may drive me crazy sometimes...and I know I drive you nuts sometimes too...but, I will always love you, Stringfellow Hawke. Promise me you'll never forget that."

"I promise, Caitlin," String replied.

"Me, too," Caitlin answered her husband, then added, "Like I said, String—you're not gonna lose me, unless you're stupid enough to let me go." _And, I sure hope to heck he doesn't get that stupid,_ Caitlin said to herself.

"And, I signed on 'til death do us part,' too...and I will always love you, Cait," String affirmed to his wife. "And don't worry about me ever letting you go—I promise you, that's _never _going to happen," String said, and the look in his eyes proved his honesty to Cait. String added, "We are quite the pair, aren't we?"

"Yeah...but I don't think we're that different from a lot of married couples, Hawke...well, except for that black battleship with the rotors," Caitlin teased.

"Yeah, not many married people I know fly something like Airwolf," Hawke agreed, grinning at her. "Airwolf just means we have to work that much harder to keep our marriage healthy, you know?"

"Yeah, String...I do know. Did I ever tell you there was a time I felt jealous of her?"

"I think you've mentioned that a time or two, yeah," Stringfellow replied. "And, I guess I can understand. Dom and I did spend a lot of time with Airwolf, and kinda pushed you into the background...but in my defense, I hadn't really figured out my feelings about you, you know," Hawke said, and he could see by Caitlin's expression that she understood. "But I know what you mean, regardless," he added.

"I guess a part of me was just uncomfortable having to share you with her," Caitlin admitted. "But I got used to it. But for now," she said, a particular gleam coming into her eyes as she moved closer to him, "I've got you all to myself."

"That's true, Cait," Hawke replied, and he knew she could see the gleam in his own eyes. "So...how should we spend the time we've got?"

"M mm...I can think of a few ways..." she purred, just before taking Hawke's lips with her own.

Hawke had completely lost track of time as things progressed with Cait, but he was suddenly snapped back to reality when, just about the time he was getting ready to suggest they head upstairs to continue things, he heard Saint John's voice at the front door. "_Uh-oh._ Le, Saoirse, Sally Anne...this is what is known as _bad timing," _Saint John said to the kids, but all String could hear was the overjoyed screams of his children as they charged towards the couch. "Yay! Daddy's not dumb anymore!" "Daddy and Mommy love each other again!"

"Hey, little brother," Saint John said to String, "I see things are getting back on the right track," he grinned knowingly at Caitlin and String, still entangled in each other's arms, even as their daughters clambered onto their laps.

"Yeah, Saint John, I'd say things are getting back on the right track," String replied with a smile as he ruffled Saoirse's hair and hugged her to him. "Listen, Sinj, thanks for"—

"My pleasure, String. Sally Anne and Saoirse Marie had a good time with their cousin Le, didn't you, kids?"

"Yeah, Uncle Saint John!" From both girls. They had spent the day playing with their cousin, along with getting ice cream and other fun activities, while Caitlin and String had some time to be alone together. _And it looks like it did a world of good,_ Saint John said to himself, noticing Caitlin's flushed expression, along with the fact that she was blushing furiously.

"We may be asking you to do that more often, Sinj," String replied. I think..."

"Whenever you need it, little brother...all you have to do is ask."

"Thanks, Sinj."

"Thank you, Saint John," Caitlin echoed her husband. "It means a lot."

"Cait, haven't I been telling you it's okay to call me 'Sinj,' like String does, ever since you two got together?" Saint John demanded, but String and Cait both saw the humor in his expression. Caitlin nodded and said, "Yeah, Sinj...you have. And I'll try to do better, okay?"

"Okay, Cait," Saint John replied, then turned his attention back to the issue at hand. "Like I said, Cait, anytime. Anything I can do to help you two, it's my pleasure," Saint John replied. He'd seen the steady deterioration of his younger brother's marriage, and the problems String was having because of it, and had been only too happy to help when String had asked him. "I was really getting worried about you, little brother," he added.

"I was worried, too, Sinj," String replied sheepishly. "And that was part of the problem...the more worried I got that I was gonna lose my family, the more withdrawn I got. I know I promised that I wouldn't go back to my old habits, but..."

"String, it's okay...I can't speak for Saint John—oops—I mean, for _Sinj—_but, I understand...and, I forgive you," Caitlin told her husband, and squeezed his hands affectionately to reinforce her words.

"I have to agree with Cait," Saint John replied. "I understand why you let yourself go back into old habits...and, I forgive you, too."

"Hey, Saint John...can you and Le stay for dinner?" Cait asked.

"Oh, no...you two need some time with the kids...we can do that some other time," Saint John replied, but Sally Anne and Saoirse Marie, having climbed out of their parents' laps, each latched on to one of his legs and shouted, "Please, Uncle Saint John?"

Picking up Sally Anne, Saint John laughed. "Well, with requests like that, how can I refuse?" Sally Anne giggled as Saint John hugged her.

Dinner was a happy occasion for the first time Hawke could remember, and afterward, when Saint John and Le were ready to leave, Hawke grabbed his older brother in a crushing hug and said, "Thanks again, Sinj...for everything."

"Like I said, little brother...it's my pleasure," Saint John said with a grin. "You're my family, String...you, Cait, and the kids...and when you're hurting, I'm hurting. I just wish we could have done this a lot sooner."

"Me too, Sinj," String agreed. "It would've saved all of us a lot of grief." One final embrace later, Saint John and Le left the cabin, and String and Cait stood in the door and watched as his helicopter left the cabin. Once he was gone, Stringfellow and Caitlin went back inside, and their children started clamoring for their parents' attention.

"_We want a story!"_ Both girls shouted in unison. String and Caitlin looked at each other and smiled. "And what story do you want, girls?" Caitlin asked.

"You know!" Both girls laughed as they scampered out of their parents' laps and headed to their bedroom.

"Yeah, we do know," Hawke said to the rapidly retreating forms of his daughters. "Are we surprised?" He asked Caitlin.

"Not in the slightest, Hawke," Caitlin said as she slid her arm around his waist, and felt his go around her shoulders. "You want to start this time?"

"Sure, Cait," String laughed, and once the girls were ready for bed, Stringfellow began the story of how he and Caitlin met and fell in love.

When the story was finished, both String and Caitlin kissed their children good night, and headed upstairs. The girls seemed to have forgiven String for his attitude, even though it didn't appear that they totally understood everything. All they knew was that Mommy and Daddy loved each other again, and that was all they cared about.

"Love was never a problem," Hawke had told the kids as he tucked them into bed. "I was just..." He hesitated, knowing what his kids were thinking. _And, they're right, _String said to himself as he waited for one of his daughters to finish his sentence.

Saoirse didn't disappoint him. "We know, Daddy...you were just being dumb again." She giggled and grinned impishly at String, and Stringfellow grinned back at her and Sally Anne.

"Yeah, Saoirse, I was," Hawke admitted sheepishly as he kissed her good night. "I've gotta do better about that."

"Yes, you do, Daddy!" Saoirse giggled as she said it, but the seriousness of her statement was not lost on her father.

"I know," was all he could respond.

A few moments later, Hawke and Caitlin had reached the sleeping loft, and Hawke grinned at Cait. "Well, at least this time you don't feel like hitting me upside the head," he said sheepishly.

"No, String," Caitlin murmured, as she moved closer to him, "but...there are other things I'd like to do," she continued, as she began fiddling with the buttons on his shirt.

"Oh, Cait...you read my mind," String replied, and soon the two of them were completely lost in each other, and clothes were flying around the sleeping loft, but neither one cared as they lowered themselves onto the bed, knowing that words were not necessary, at least for a while.

"String?" Caitlin murmured, several hours later.

"Yeah?" Was all Hawke could muster, as the blood had not quite reached his brain again.

Caitlin felt herself melting against her husband as she whispered, "That was..._amazing._"

"Thank you, Cait," Hawke replied, feeling a little more confident about his words, as he felt the blood coming back into his brain. "You were amazing, too."

"String...promise me we'll never go through the last three weeks again," Caitlin said.

"Cait...there's no guarantee we'll never have problems again," Hawke said with a sigh, "but as long as we're talking and working at it, we'll be just fine," Hawke concluded, and he believed it with all his heart.

"I know, String," Caitlin murmured happily as she snuggled against her husband. "I know." She and Hawke both knew their marriage would not be without problems in the future, but the stresses of the past three weeks had done a lot to strengthen their love for each other, and as they fell asleep, both knew that whatever troubles they might face, they would face them together.


End file.
